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The other day there was an interesting thread on Twitter with Dr. Jenn M. Jackson, a columnist at Teen Vogue, regarding her initial encounter with the writings of Brene Brown and her thoughts on how the author encourages white supremacy by telling white women to be courageous and vulnerable. She stated, “Having courage to finish that swim meet or ask for that big raise isn’t like having the courage to be Black in a country that wants us dead.” She went on to share that the cost of courage for a Black person in America is high, because we are trying to find the courage to speak out against racism, the courage to protest the killings of innocent Black people, and the courage to fight for equality in a country that literally hates our existence.
Dr. Jackson went on to talk about Courage Culture and how it is being led by suburban white women and the appeal it has to a lot of minorities, including Black women. We subconsciously want what white women have so we fall into the allure of their teachings on being vulnerable and courageous, not realizing that as Black women we don’t have that luxury because of societal obstacles we have to overcome, which Brown doesn’t write or lecture about, because her research is mainly influenced by the perspective of white men and women who serve as her research participants. (I talk more about Brene Brown’s limited usage of minorities in her research in Black Women and Vulnerability: What Brene Brown Got Wrong.)
The part of her Twitter thread that had women both Black and white becoming defensive was when she talked about how these middle class white women like Brene Brown are publishing three, four and five New York Times bestselling books teaching people how to stand up for themselves, without accounting for how they, white middle class women, are protected and allowed to be courageous, while Black and Brown women are not afforded that same space, cover or protection. Their writings essentially support white supremacy and when we as Black women run out to Barnes and Noble to buy a copy of their books, we are unconsciously supporting it too.
Then I entered the chat. I confirmed what she was saying about how these women continuously make the NYT bestseller list and Black women in the literary space are ignored when their writings do not subscribe to the theoretical practices of whites who have no understanding of the Black experience. I found myself being attacked and told that Dr. Jackson has a Ph.D. and needs to try and write her own book, and Black women need to learn how to network on LinkedIn and give back to their communities- said by a Black woman who had drunk the Brown Kool-Aid. I informed her that just because a Black woman has a Ph.D. in America doesn’t mean we have it easier, it’s actually harder. I politely told her that “we are tired of giving back and getting nothing in return while women like Brown are charging their worth and being compensated.” Then I went on to point out that Black women have written books discussing courage from our point of view, but Black women are not supported in the literary space the way white women are. Hence why authors like Brown can become a NYT bestseller over and over again and is paid $100K to open her mouth for 30 minutes on a stage, while Black women authors are fighting just to be seen and heard.
We as Black women have to read the courageous writings of white women through a different lens, understanding that this is her experience and yours, no matter how bad you want it to align, never will. When Brene Brown talks about vulnerability and courage, she isn’t talking to you or about you.
Then Suburban Susan entered the chat. “What about Oprah and Iyanla Vanzant, who are bestselling authors and don’t hate me for being white? Did you forget about them? Do they not count?” I had to take a deep breath, because now this entire conversation had become about us hating her. Myself and Dr. Spirit, who is a Black woman psychologist and has had her own show on Vh1, pointed out that she could only name two successful Black women authors out of the millions of Black women in this country, which proved my point. Instead of listening to understand, Suburban Susan utilized the Twitter block feature and silenced our commentary.
So I ask, “How can we be courageous and vulnerable, when white women and men become upset and start to cry about how we “hate them,” every time Black folk come together to talk about our lived experiences.” How are we supposed to make progress in this country when many whites refuse to listen and instead play the victim every time the conversations is about us. This exhausting defensive mechanism has worked for centuries, having killed a lot of Black people who were trying to be vulnerable and courageous as they spoke out against the injustices taking place within their lives and communities. It is because of these conditions that courage culture as we know it is dangerous for Blacks in America.
As I ended the thread, because Dr. Jackson had left the chat a long time ago, I just shook my head. We- both Blacks and whites in this country, have a long way to go. Most white people are not trying to understand the Black experience, and we as Blacks need to open our eyes and realize that equality will never look the same no matter how hard we try. Instead of running around helping middle class white women like Brene Brown move up the socio-economic ladder to millionaire status with books and lectures that don’t speak to our pain, lets try supporting the work of lesser known Black authors by purchasing their books and giving them the space to talk about Black vulnerability and courage, while covering and protecting them.
If you’d like to support the work of this Black woman click here and buy Dr. Yazeed a coffee.
NOTE: After sharing this article on LinkedIn it went viral. I didn’t think I would receive all of the support that I did, especially for an opinion piece speaking against the teachings of Brene Brown. Surprisingly, a lot of support came from white women. Equally surprising, the backlash I received came from a few Black women. Here are my thoughts on their reactions:
Dr. Carey Yazeed is a behavioral scientist who specializes in psychological safety in the workplace. She is the author of Shut’em Down: Black Women, Racism, and Corporate America, Everyday Struggle: How Toxic Workplaces Impact Black Women (both were bestsellers on Amazon in the category of business conflict), and Unbreak My Soul: How Black Women Can Begin To Heal From Workplace Trauma. Interested in having Dr. Yazeed speak at your next event, Click here to learn more.
