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When we talk about toxic work environments as Black women, one component we often leave out or glaze over is how some Black women leaders make the lives of other Black women in their organization a living hell. This is a chronic problem that we rarely talk about, if we ever address it at all. Our silence as Black women usually stems from the generational warnings of Black families, “What happens in our house, stays in our house!” But why can’t you and I talk about and begin to understand the trauma, hurt and pain that Black women cause each other in the workplace?
There are several reasons why Black women in leadership roles become the company’s mean girl and makes work-life a living hell for the Black women who are assigned to their team. First, we have to understand that some Black women believe the only way they will make it into leadership and maintain their positions is if they mimic the behaviors of other leaders within their company- white men who suffer from affinity bias and have had little to no interactions with minorities. Instead of being warm, engaging and understanding, her behavior is cold, unapproachable and neutral. She is stern and sometimes condescending, making us feel less than the woman we really are. These are behaviors she has observed in non-minority male leaders in the workplace and at some point adapted and perfected over time.
Secondly, imposter syndrome is real, especially among Black women in Corporate America. Many have already been made to feel inadequate and not good enough. Coupled with questioning her own capabilities, her negative behavior towards other Black women is her way of protecting her treasured position from the next ambitious Black woman. So for some, this means keeping others in a state of oppression, which is done by placing their foot on the necks of the Black women assigned to work with them- a reminder to stay in our place in Corporate America- beneath her, not alongside her and definitely not above her.
Thirdly, there is the factor of alignment and the building of allies. At some point, a few Black women in leadership roles stop identifying and associating with other minorities in the organization and begin to align themselves with everyone else who is seated at the boardroom table, which isn’t you and I. She believes she is better than us because she didn’t have to bring a folding chair as Shirley Chisholm once suggested. Instead, the proverbial door was opened and the sacred seat granted to her.
Lastly, “hurt people, hurt other people.” A large majority of Black women in leadership positions endured a lot of emotionally trauma, hurt and pain during their ascension to the corner office with the beautiful view. Just like you, she too had to endure a corporate initiation process that included harmful micro aggressions, and blatant racism, topped off with a dash of gender bias humiliation here and there. And we can’t forget the systemic and generational trauma that has haunted her since she came out of the womb that have never been addressed. Instead of utilizing the company’s Employee Assistance Program (EAP) or her health insurance to work with a mental health therapist, she covers up the pain and suffering that she constantly has to endure from society with a tailored suit and brings it into the workplace each and every day.
Yes she is special, she is the chosen one and we can never take that away from her. But as the Black woman on the receiving end of her abuse, please remember this; her objective isn’t to reach back and help you and I to climb the corporate ladder. Once she broke through the glass ceiling and made it to the corner office with the nice view, we became her enemy or should I say a figment of her imagination – a danger that isn’t real. Yes, in her mind we are a threat and every morning she puts on her armor, walks out of her front door, and choses violence against us and our progression in the workplace.
So what should one do if they find themselves in this type of abusive relationship with the sistah who is now their supervisor and giving them holy hell? In the words of Carolina Wanga, former Chief Culture, Diversity & Inclusion Officer for Target and now CEO of Essence Communications, “If you can not be who you are where you are, you change where you are, not who you are.“
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Dr. Carey Yazeed is a behavioral scientist who specializes in work culture and work trauma. She is the author of Shut’em Down: Black Women, Racism, and Corporate America, Everyday Struggle: How Toxic Workplaces Impact Black Women (both were bestsellers on Amazon in the category of business conflict), and Unbreak My Soul: How Black Women Can Begin To Heal From Workplace Trauma. Dr. Yazeed is currently available for media interviews and to facilitate corporate trainings. Click here to learn more.
